Dear Diary
by Vero Aloe
Summary: Juliet Burke's secret diary. Everything you wanted to know about her life on the island.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Dear Diary  
**Fandom: **LOST  
**Character/Pairing: **Juliet (later Jack/Juliet)  
**Rating:** PG (so far)  
**Status:** WIP  
**Author:** Vero  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own LOST and its characters..but they do own me. My first language is not English - be patient.

--- Chapter 1 ---

_September 4, 2001_

_Rachel gave me this diary so I can record everything that happens to me while I'll be away in Portland. I don't know why she thinks that I won't be able to use phones,mail or the internet. Anyway, we are leaving for the meeting with Mr. Alpert now. I hope I won't forget to pack my Downtown CD, I need it in the car, as well at the new place._

_September 12, 2001_

_I just arrived to the island one week ago. (Why doesn't it have a name btw?) The people here seem really nice, I was greeted by the boss, Benjamin Linus. The man has a firm handshake. After I signed all the papers and other documents that I need before I start working, they already scheduled me a meeting with the Island's shrink for today. I felt surprised because as far as I know, I'm completely okay mentally. My love life sucks, but let's not go into that. The shrink is called Harper, and let's just say that I felt very uncomfortable talking to her. She acted like she was jealous of my popularity (for god's sake, I'm new here, of course people treat me with curiosity) and she said that I looked like someone Ben knew. (Hmm this is actually interesting, I might ask Ben who is the "her" Harper meant by that comment.) I'm sitting in my own house while I'm writing this, I was shocked to get one from Ben, when I only plan to stay here for 6 months. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain. As nice this house is, I really miss talking to Rachel. I just hope I won't regret leaving her in a cruical time like this. Anyway, I need to go now. I want to put the flowers in a vase. Ben gave them to me._

_September 27, 2001_

_This place gets weirder and weirder. There is a "fence" around the village and people can only allowed to go past it if they have the code to turn the fence off. I have no idea from what it's protecting us, and I have to admit that it's a bit creepy. I haven't been through the fence yet, and I'm not sure that I even want to be. I got a lab to work in, and I have to say that I'm pretty content with the working conditions here. It's very sad that women on the island can't give birth to babies though. It's very interesting scientifically, and if I manage to fix the problem I might get to be a very published scientist. I'm not doing all this to be famous, though. I really just want to help. As I did with my sister. (I miss her so much.) When I was eating in the village canteen yesterday, I met a wonderfully nice old lady, called Amelia. She was very kind to me, I can feel that I found my first friend in this place. She loves reading as much as I do, and actually I am thinking of creating a book club here on the island. Me and Rachel used to read books together when we were kids. It often led to fights though when she started a book I wanted to read at the same time too, so I would chase her around the house to get the book from her. We had our own book club then, and nobody else was allowed in it. So I think I'm gonna do this book club here too, it might help to pass the time until I will leave, and will make me feel closer to Rachel._

_October 7, 2001_

_I already have 3 patients who were willing to get pregnant. I'm very excited, even if I don't succeed, they will be taken off island to continue their pregnancies there. (At least that's what Ben said.)  
Ben is very interested in my work, he often stops by the lab and asks me about the progress I make.  
I met his daughter, Alex the other day. She is 13 yrs old and all about rebelling against her daddy. (especially about choosing what clothes she wants to wear) She is very cute, I feel a bit sorry for her though; her mother died when she was born. Poor Ben, raising her all alone. He is doing a great job; as much as I can see.  
We had our first book club meeting today at Amelia's house. I can't cook really well (to put it mildly) so that's why I didn't want to hold the meeting here in my house. The book we are reading is very interesting; and the club is very successful. I even convinced one person to join us. It's Ethan, the man who was with Mr. Alpert when I decided to come here at the first place. He really respects me, always says how much of a pleasure to meet me and spending time with me. (I find this very weird and sweet at the same time.) His wife is one of my patients. I need to go now, there is something happening outside, people are calling for Ben, it's a smaller chaos._


	2. Chapter 2

_October 21, 2001_

_I'm really drowning in work (which is a good thing), so I don't really have time for this diary lately.2 weeks ago, when I had to leave suddenly, some people saw a beechcraft going down out in the jungle. Ben says there were no survivors. I was in shock, I didn't think I would be close to a place where a plane goes down. I asked Ben if he notified the authorities about that plane, and he said he did that. I feel sorry for the families of those people on the plane, I can imagine how horrible Rachel would feel if something happened to me out here.  
On other news, the book club is going really well, I took the liberty and invited Ben to join us as well. He seems to be the reader type.  
I got close to one of my patients, Henrietta. She is a very nice woman, and I hope that she will be able to give birth to a healthy baby.  
Today was therapy session day (oh joy), and I realized that I really can't stand Harper. She is trying to make me feel uncomfortable on purpose, and I don't know why.  
I went over to Ben's house today with some lab results to show him, and I saw a beautiful painting of a blonde woman on the wall. I asked him if she was Alex's mother, he said no, and that the painting was of a woman who gave life to him. (I'm guessing his mother?)_

_November 25, 2001_

_Today was the first day when I had been outside the fence. Ben sent Ethan with me, so he could show me the medical station where they do the bigger surgeries. (in case we need to do a caesarian on either of the mothers) The jungle is beautiful, but the thing I don't understand is why do they keep that medical station (I think they called it The Staff) so hidden? I felt like I'm on a secret mission when I went there. Anyway, let's hope that all the births will go smoothly and we don't need to go there at all. I'm almost halfway through my time here, I can't wait to see Rachel again. I wonder how is she dealing with the pregnancy all by herself. I really hope it wasn't a mistake to come here. _

_December 21, 2001 _

_I finally made myself to write in here. 10 days ago we lost Henrietta. I really don't know how all this could have happened...I have never seen anything like this before in my medical practice. It all started 2 weeks before her death. She was feeling constantly nauseous, but I didn't think it was important, as some pregnancies can trigger extreme nausea for pregnant women. Then 1 week after that, she experienced a shortness of breath, and it didn't go away, no matter how much I tried to help her. Then she slipped into a coma, and we weren't able to bring her back from there.  
I really feel like a failure. They brought me here to help these women and now one of them died under my watch. I'm not a surgeon who got used to deaths. I am supposed to bring life to this world, not lose it. Henrietta's death is a real setback to my research here, I wouldn't be surprised if no other woman would risk getting pregnant again. I still have 2 patients left, we are really hopeful that Henrietta's death was only a misfortunate event, and those women won't have to die. I wouldn't be able to get over that again. I confronted Ben the other day about his promise to take the women off the island if anything goes wrong. He said that the sub was disfunctional at that time, and it needed fixing. I guess we all just had bad luck that day.  
Well, actually not only bad luck. I met a really kind man that same day, who tried to comfort me after Henrietta died. We accidentally met at the imfirmary storage room, he had a burn on his arm. He called me "baby doctor" which was incredibly sweet, __an_

_December 22, 2001_

_I needed to run to the door yesterday, couldn't finish writing because Tom is organizing the Christmas play this year and he was asking for my help. I spent yesterday afternoon with painting the sets for the play with Alex, Karl and the other kids from the village. The celebration will take place in the rec room, everyone is so excited. We are doing a Secret Santa, I got Ben. I really had no idea what to give him, I don't know him that well yet to give him anything personal. So, I decided to make some pillows for him. At least I know how to sew, I'm a doctor afterall. I got this really pretty red material from Amelia, and I made 3 pillows for Ben. I hope he will like them.  
I want to finish the story that I was writing about yesterday. So I met Goodwin (the guy with the burn on his arm), and he seemed really nice and helpful. Talking to him was a real pleasure until it turned out that he is married to Harper. (I basically told him that his wife is a bitch before I knew their relation. Very embarassing.) Poor guy, he didn't look too happy about their marriage. Trust me, after all that happened between Edmund and me, I recognize"that" look. Anyway, I'm looking forward to meeting Goodwin again, it would be great to talk to somebody who is closer to my age than Amelia. _

_December 25, 2001_

_The Christmas play went well, everyone was enjoying it. I gave Ben his Secret Santa gift, he really seemed flattered. He said he would put those pillows on his couch. I got a green backpack from my Secret Santa, Alex. It was a very thoughtful gift, I will treasure it.  
I miss Rachel today more than usual, and I wish I could be at home with her. Merry Christmas!_


End file.
